Rusted Metal
by Liv-x-Case-Benson
Summary: [Alt. end to "Lady Heather's Box"] Everyone has a breaking point. This is Catherine Willows's. No one expected it, but Catherine can't make it alone. T-M Three-shot [co-writer: dcmasters]
1. Disbelief

Rusted Metal

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**1. Disbelief**

"Lindsay, honey? Is that you?" Catherine asked as a soft cry was heard down the phone belonging to Eddie, her ex.

"Mommy," she said, shaking, "s-someone sh-shot Dad and the car's filling up with water. I'm chained in a-and h-he's not moving... I can't get out!" she cried.

"What?!" Catherine managed, running from the lab and into her car. "Ok baby, I'm on my way. Can you see any buildings? Do you know where you are?"

"I can't see anything above the car."

Catherine sighed inwardly. "Do you know where you guys were headed?"

"Umm...he didn't really say anything, but I think there was a casino on the way here."

"Ok good. Do you know what it looked like? A castle? A pyramid?"

"Castle I think... What's going on, Mommy?"

"It's ok. You just have to be a brave girl now ok? I'll be there soon, ok?"

Sniffling as she cried a bit, she nodded. "Ok."

"Lindsay, I love you honey, ok?"

"I love you too, Mommy."

"I'm nearly there ok? Just hang on sweetie, promise me you'll hang on?" Catherine asked, wiping tears from her face as she drove erratically.

"Yes Mommy."

"Good girl, just a few more minutes..." Catherine said seeing the skid marks in the road as she quickly pulled up, "ok, I see you..."

Lindsay struggled to get her seat belt off as the car continued to sink like a stone, scratching at the windows. "Mommy!"

"It's ok, I'm going to call for help..." Catherine said, frantically pressing the last call in her phone. Sara Sidle.

"Sidle," Sara answered without checking the ID, ducking into a building as shelter from the rain.

"Sara, it's Cath. I'm about two blocks from you at the river. Lindsay and Eddie have gone in. I need help..." She spoke quickly.

Sara nodded. "Nick, take the scene!" she said, handing him her evidence as she grabbed everything else, jumping in her car and speeding off. "I'll be right there."

Catherine threw her phone onto the bank, quickly diving in as she saw the car sink a little more. "Lindsay!" She called, banging on the window.

Sara pulled up minutes later, shedding her jacket and phone, diving in after Catherine. "Cath!"

Lindsay was trying to unbuckle her belt and hold her breath and it wasn't easy. The water was almost over her head.

Catherine fought to smash the window as she dived back under water after coming up for air, ignoring Sara's calls. She moved around the car to try the side closest to Lindsay, smashing the window finally as she took Lindsay's hand, trying to free the other.

Lindsay held her mom's hand tightly, trying to undo the belt, bubbles of air rose to the surface, as she was barely hanging on.

Sara was under with them seconds later, trying to undo the belt.

Catherine held her breath with determination as the pair tried to free her daughter. Catherine pulled her hand from the seat belt as Sara took over, stroking her daughter's cheek.

Lindsay leaned into her mom, falling unconscious.

Quickly, Sara pulled her pocket knife from her jeans, trying to cut her free.

"Lindsay!" Catherine screamed beneath the water as the belt finally came free and the pair surfaced. She quickly dragged Lindsay onto the bank beginning mouth-to-mouth. "Come on, honey, breathe! Please!" She said desperately.

Sara started chest compression. "Come on!"

"Breathe for Mommy, Lindsay..." Catherine begged a few minutes later as sirens from the paramedics could be heard.

Sara pressed harder to start the girl's heart. "Keep...going... Come on."

"Please, baby, I love you," Catherine whispered by her ear.

Slowly, Lindsay let out a ragged cough, water sputtering. Her eyes opened slowly before she clung to Catherine. "I...love you...too..." she said weakly.

Catherine held her daughter tightly in her arms. "Good girl," she smiled, stroking the hair from Lindsay's face as tears ran down her cheeks, "we're going to take you to the hospital and get you checked out, ok?"

Lindsay nodded, hugging her tighter. "I'm cold."

Sara ran over to her car, grabbing her jacket and raing back over. "Here, you can wrap up in this, ok? It'll keep you warm."

Catherine smiled at her gratefully as she held it around her daughter. "It's going to be ok, Lindsay. Hey, listen, you were great in your play, I was so proud of you," Catherine said softly, kissing her forehead.

Lindsay smiled. "Y-you w-weren't early, but y-you still came," she said, shivering.

"I promised I'd be there, didn't I?" Catherine smiled, rubbing her daughter's arms trying to warm her up.

Sara turned around as the paramedics arrived.

"I love you so much!" Catherine said softly.

Lindsay smiled. "I love you too, Mommy."

"You're so beautiful," Catherine smiled, watching her, "Hey, did I ever tell you about... Lindsay?! Sara! Sara, she's not breathing again!"

"Lay her back down!"

Catherine quickly lay Lindsay back down as the paramedics frantically worked on her daughter. "Please be ok. Please breathe... Come on Lindsay," she repeated for what seemed like an eternity.

Sara walked over, wrapping a supportive arm around her. "I've got you, Cath. Come on, Linds..." she said under her breath.

Twenty minutes later the paramedics shook their heads. Nothing more could be done. Catherine knew exactly what that shake of the head meant and she moved to pull her daughter into her arms. "NOOOOO!" She screamed at an ear-piercing volume, as tears flooded her cheeks.

Sara walked over, standing a little ways behind her, knowing nothing she was feeling was even a percentage of what Catherine was as tears fell down her cheeks. "Linds..."

Catherine sobbed uncontrollably as one of the paramedics pulled Sara aside. "We need to take her..."

Sara nodded. "Don't try to pull her away," she said, wiping her eyes, "I'll do it," she said, sitting beside them. "Cath?" she asked gently.

Catherine's eyes stayed fixed on Lindsay. "Yeah?" She managed.

"Th-they need her sweetie. I-I can't even begin to imagine the pain, but they need to take her. Okay...?" Sara asked, wrapping an arm tightly around her.

Catherine's arms slowly loosened on her daughter, her heart breaking even further when Lindsay was lifted from her arms. "Be careful with her..." she whispered.

The paramedic nodded. "We promise."

Sara pulled Catherine as close she she could. "I'm so sorry."

Catherine went to bat her away. "Don't... Just leave me alone..." She said, standing with all her strength as she got into her car and sped off.


	2. Saving Grace

Rusted Metal

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**2. Saving Grace**

Sara sighed, going straight to to work and into Grissom's office, knocking on the door, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

Seeing her face, he immediately ushered Sara into his office, "What's happened?"

Sara collapsed into a chair, curling into a ball and sobbing, unable to respond.

Gil placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Where's Cath?"

After a few minutes, Sara looked up. "Cath called. She was upset because of her ex involving...i-involving...L-Lin... oh my god," she shook her head frantically as she got a breath. "I went. Car was in the water, filling up. Cath and I had to dive down and cut her free, b-but..."

"Oh my God! No, not Cath..." He said in disbelief.

Sara took his hand, shaking her head. "Worse Gil. Lindsay. Listen, Cath just sped off and I don't think she wants to be found right now or for this to be known right away."

Gil just nodded. "She must be heartbroken," he said softly, "You take the rest of the shift off, ok? And as long as you need after that. You've plenty of weeks owing."

Sara nodded. "I think she'll come back here at some point. I want to wait for her. I...it's in my lap too."

He nodded, pulling the woman into a tight embrace. "Whatever you need I'm here..." He whispered.

"Thank you." Sara nodded, hugging him tightly. "Well, I think I'm just going to change and go sit in the lab. I need to get warm."

He nodded watching her go.

* * *

It was another hour before a dazed Catherine passed his office, clothes still soaked, hair wet as she entered her office, quickly closing the door. She couldn't stay in her car, her house any longer. Everywhere she turned there was a reminder of Lindsay. Curling up in the corner, she pulled her knees to her chest as tears fell heavily once more.

Sara walked from her office, warmer in dry clothes, hearing Catherine in her office. Gently, she knocked on her door, expecting no answer.

"Wh-who is it?" Catherine managed.

"It's Sara," she spoke softly. "Can I come in?"

Catherine pulled herself up slowly, unlocking the door, pulling it open slightly.

Sara slowly walked in, closing and locking the door again before sitting beside her, holding her hand tightly, figuring words couldn't help this pain.

"Everything reminds me of her... She... She was all I had..."

Sara pulled her close. "But...what about me?" she asked.

"I... It's not the same..."

"I know," she said, hugging her tightly, "but I'll always be here."

Catherine nodded. "I... I need to see her..."

Sara nodded. "Can I come?"

Catherine looked up at her for a moment, then wiped her cheeks as she nodded, pulling herself up. She followed the corridor that usually seemed a quick journey, arriving at the autopsy room just as Gil stood beside Lindsay's body, Doc's scalpel paused over her chest. "Not Lindsay... Not my baby..." Her soft voice squeaked from the doorway.

Sara offered her hand in support. "I'm here."

Both men stepped away from the table into one of the many dark corners the room held.

Catherine slowly stepped forward, brushing her daughter's face. "Hey, Linds, it's Mommy..." she whispered, "got time for one last story, honey?"

Sara stood behind her in case she collapsed.

Catherine placed Lindsay's favorite teddy on her stomach, her eyes never leaving Lindsay's face as she told her favorite story. "And they all lived... h-happily ever after," she said softly, tears falling heavily, "I'm sorry I wasn't around much baby. I wish we'd had more time. You don't have to be strong anymore. Sleep now, my beautiful girl. Mommy loves you, very much." Catherine leant forward to kiss her daughter's forehead, watching her for a second longer as she felt her knees buckle.

Sara dropped beside her, wrapping her arms around her and hugging her tightly. She didn't care if Catherine struggled. She wouldn't take no for an answer. "You were there, Cath. More than anyone else. You just dropped what you were doing and ran, just like a good mother should. She knows you love her with everything you did for her..." she whispered.

Catherine gave a small nod through her tears. "I need to go or I'll never leave..." she whispered.

"I'll go with you," Sara said, standing as she pulled Catherine to her feet.

Catherine nodded, too exhausted to argue, turning to Doc. "Don't let her be too cold. She hates the cold," she whispered, before allowing Sara to lead her from the room, "I... I can't go home."

Sara lead Catherine back to her office, closing the door. Sara helped her into a chair, sitting with her and hugging her tightly as the tears poured and she shook. "I...I'm so sorry! If-if I'd just gotten that damn knife sooner!" she cried.

"Sara, it's not your fault. You did everything you could. I... I don't blame you'" Catherine replied, staying close to the younger woman.

Sara hugged her tightly. "I know, but still..."

"C-could I stay with you?"

Sara nodded. "Of course you can. Do...you want to just go home with me or would you want to get out of town?"

"I don't care, I just can't be home right now."

Sara nodded, offering her hand before walking out. The ride was silent, Sara's free hand, resting on Catherine's leg. squeezing it gently.

* * *

They were back at Sara's before Catherine's body started to feel anything other than numbness as she shivered in the living room, the coolness of her clothes finally hitting her.

Closing the door, Sara turned up the heat before walking back over and shedding Catherine's soaked jacket. Then, taking her hand, the brunette lead her into the bathroom. "A shower will take that chill away, ok?"

Catherine nodded, not caring that she was still stood there as she stripped her clothes and stepped into the burning shower.

Sara carefully adjusted the temperature. "Is this ok?"

Catherine nodded as she continued to shower, wrapping herself in a towel as she stepped from it five minutes later. "I can't live without her, Sara."

"I know, but she would want you to live, Cath," Sara said, hugging her tightly. "She would want you to go on and remember her when you can bear it."

Catherine rested heavily against Sara as she cried heavily, her heart breaking a little more with each tear that fell.

Sara leaned against the counter, holding her tightly, her own tears mimicking Catherine as she rubbed her back. "Sshhh. It's alright. It's ok. Let it out," she whispered. "I'm here."

* * *

It was another hour before Catherine allowed Sara to help her put on something for bed and lay her down. As Sara went to move away, Catherine grabbed her hand. "Don't go."

Sara nodded, slipping in beside her and holding her close. "Ok."

Catherine rested back against the brunette, eventually falling asleep, exhausted.

Sara pulled the blankets around them, kissing her cheek before falling asleep.


	3. Relief

**WARNING: Adult Content!**

Rusted Metal

By: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

**3. Relief**

They next few weeks seemed to pass in a blur for the CSI. The funeral arrangements and then the funeral came all too quickly for Catherine. Then weeks turned to a month and she was still at Sara's place, not daring to go home, and she hadn't been back to work.

Catherine spent most of her day in some little world of her own that most people couldn't touch. The only person who seemed capable of breaking that barrier was her Sara.

Sara walked in with groceries in her arms. She kicked the door closed, putting the items away before searching for Catherine, finding her in the spare room, lying on the bed. Slowly, she walked over. lying beside her, hugging her tightly and kissing her cheek. "I'm back," she whispered.

Catherine seemed to come back from wherever she'd been and turned in the brunette's arms, placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

Sara laid shocked for a bit before slowly and gently kissing back.

Catherine pulled Sara closer, deepening the kiss.

Sara moaned softly, her hands going through Catherine's hair. "I'll never leave you," she whispered.

"Help me feel something again," Catherine whispered back.

Sara nodded slowly. "But before I do, I have a confession."

"Ok..."

"I'm not only doing this because you need me. Cath...I-I love you, sweetie. I have for the longest time, but everything got in the way before I could say anything," Sara said, caressing her face.

"I... love you too. Lindsay knew. Said I should tell you. Then, I didn't get the chance."

Sara shook her head. "You just did. Because you knew she would want you to be happy, sweetie. It's never going to be easy, but I promise to do what I can. And I love you so much!" she said, kissing her passionately.

Catherine released the softest moan, her hands ducking under the back of Sara's top to lightly run over the small of her back.

Sara moaned softly, her hands rubbing Catherine's back under her shirt. "You are so beautiful and just amazing," she said, kissing her neck.

Catherine's breath hitched as Sara's lips made contact with her neck before she moaned loudly.

Sara smirked. "Mmm, you like that? How about this?" she asked, sucking on the spot.

"Oh, Sara... I love you..." Catherine moaned.

Sara smiled, looking into her eyes. "I love you so much, Catherine. Are you sure about this?"

Catherine's hand moved to touch Sara's cheek gently. "It's the only thing I'm sure of."

Sara smiled wider, sitting up to shed her shirt.

Catherine watched her intently, her hands slowly brushing over the skin on Sara's stomach.

Sara moaned softly, shedding her bra to the floor. "I love it when you do that..."

"Why?" Catherine asked, leaning up pull her nightgown over her head, her lips moving to kiss Sara's stomach.

Sara breath hitched. "So soft..."

"So beautiful," Catherine whispered, pulling Sara back down with her.

Sara moaned, wrapping her arms around Catherine. "Mmmm..."

Catherine ran a hand along Sara's spine as she kissed her passionately

Sara moaned into Catherine's mouth, mimicking her movements, before she gently rested a hand one of Catherine's breasts.

Catherine gasped a little, slipping her tongue into Sara's mouth, moaning deeply.

Sara smirked, squeezing a little harder, groaning. Catherine was amazingly beautiful. Her skin was so soft and her breasts were just right for eliciting moans. They weren't too big (though men could argue there wasn't such a thing), they weren't too small. A size or two too big to fully rest in the brunette's palm, yes, but she would never complain. Never about this beautiful woman with soft skin and velvet lips.

"Mmm, Sara..." Catherine moaned into their kiss, her nails raking the younger woman's back.

Sara moaned a little louder, feeling Catherine's nails scraping her back as she used both hands to squeeze, one each.

Catherine pulled back a little, kissing along the brunette's collarbone lightly, somewhat hungrily.

"Ohh...mmm..."

Catherine kissed back up to Sara's ear. "Make love to me, Sara," she whispered.

Sara smiled. "God, I've waited so long for you to say those words," she moaned, kissing her passionately again, pinching her pert nipples.

Catherine moaned loudly as she returned Sara's kiss.

Sara twisted them slightly, moaning. "Mmm, I love you so much!" she said, going down to suck on her neck.

Catherine's hands ran over Sara's back once more. "I love you too," she moaned.

Sara sucked harder, biting gently as she massaged Catherine's breasts.

"Yes..." Catherine almost whispered, hands moving to trail Sara's sides.

Sara but into her harder.

"Mmm please..." Catherine moaned loudly.

Sara wrapped her arms around Catherine's neck, biting harder, stopping when she tasted a bit of blood. She pulled away, smiling at her, trying not to let her eyes be glued to Catherine's chest.

"You're so beautiful, Sara," Catherine whispered, watching her.

"So are you, Cath," she said, leaning down to gently take Catherine's right breast in her mouth and suck on it, maybe a little too eagerly.

"Mmm yes..." Catherine moaned loudly, running her hand through Sara's hair.

Sara moaned too, sucking harder.

"T-that feels amazing," Catherine moaned.

Sara smiled, hanging her angle a bit as she crawled from her clothes, lying beside her again, naked. "Mmm..."

Catherine rolled to her after removing her underwear, capturing Sara's lips once more, moving a hand to cup one of Sara's breasts, grazing the nipple with her thumb.

Sara moaned, sliding her tongue into Catherine's mouth.

Catherine moaned, her tongue playing with Sara's as her hand moved to brush Sara's thigh.

Sara moaned louder, knowing she was already more than worked up as her own hand trailed down to Catherine's thigh. "Mmm..."

Catherine moaned softly at Sara's touch, her legs instantly parting.

Sara smiled, lying on her side, as her hand carefully cupped her heat and she kissed her again.

Catherine returned Sara's kiss, as she moved her fingers to stroke Sara's clit lightly.

Sara gasped, stroking Catherine's clit.

"Oh..." Catherine moaned softly into their kiss, moaning louder when she felt Sara's true wetness, her fingers gliding almost effortlessly over the brunette's clit.

Sara moaned loudly, rubbing Catherine's slippery nerve bundle faster and faster.

Catherine's moans grew louder as her breathing quickened slightly, sliding three fingers inside the younger woman, moving them hard and fast.

Sara moaned loudly, grinding into her, her fingers slipping three easily inside Catherine as she laid on top of her.

"Oh, Sara..." Catherine moaned, moving against her, curling her fingers.

"Oh...yes..." Sara moaned as she moved her fingers faster. "Mmm... you feel so good... oh yeah... yes...oh..."

"Oh, so do you... Mmm, yes... God, Sara... Yes..." Catherine moaned, growing louder with each movement.

"Mmm, oh God...yes, yes... I want you to come on me, Cath... Please! I-I'm so hot..."

Catherine's hips began to buck as she listened to Sara's desperation and she seemed to almost gasp for air. "Yes... SARA!" she screamed, her body shaking hard as she came.

Sara ground her hips into Catherine's hand, cumming seconds later, with a scream of Catherine's name. She pulled her hand away, sucking on her fingers with a moan. "Oh Cath..."

Catherine moaned as she watched her. "That good or something?"

Sara smirked. "Maybe," she said, leaning down to kiss her.

Catherine kissed Sara deeply, moaning softly. It was a few moments later when Catherine pulled back, looking up at Sara with the first smile she'd given in over a month.

Sara smiled. "Aww! There's that one in a million smile."

Catherine's smiled widened. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Anytime. But...is it ok if I do anything else too?"

Catherine nodded, kissing her softly. "I meant for everything."

Sara moaned, kissing down Catherine's body to suck on her clit.

Catherine's breath hitched. "Sara..." she moaned softly.

Sara moaned, sucking harder. "Mmm..."

"Mmm, yes..." Catherine moaned louder, her fingers tangling in the brunette's hair as her hips bucked a little.

Sara nipped at her clit, slipping her tongue inside.

Catherine groaned. "Sara... Yes... Oh, yes..."

Sara's tongue darted in and out. "Mmm, so good..."

Catherine's hands gripped her sheet tightly as she screamed Sara's name several times, cumming hard.

Sara moaned, drinking all she had and crawling up over to her, kissing her. "Mmm, you taste so good, sweetie."

Catherine kissed her deeply. "I love you, Sara Sidle," she whispered, looking deep into her eyes.

"I love you, Catherine Willows," she said, hugging her tightly.

Catherine sighed softly against Sara's neck. "Sara, I... I haven't... Been with a woman before, and I... I want, no, it need to..." she said hesitantly.

Sara stroked her cheek. "You can tell me, Cath."

Catherine sighed again, still feeling awkward. "I need to be taken... so to speak..."

Sara smirked. "Oh..._that_ kind of taken. Well, I think I can arrange that. I'll be right back," she said, leaving the room and going into her own bedroom. She returned ten minutes later, equipped with a strap-on toy. Though, to be honest, she rarely used it herself. "Something like this?"

Catherine gasped, a little shock and simply nodded.

Sara strutted over to Catherine, standing by the bed. She smirked at Catherine's expression. "See something you like?"

Catherine swallowed hard. "Yes..."

"Want to suck on me, honey? Or is that not your game?"

Catherine looked up at her for a moment then dropped to her knees on the floor taking the toy in her mouth with a soft moan.

Sara moaned, running her hand through Catherine's hair. "Mmm, sexy..."

"Oh, you like this?" Catherine asked, looking up again before taking more of the toy.

Sara stared at her in wonder. "God, you look so sexy!"

Catherine moaned loudly as she took the full length of the toy, unknowingly pressing it against Sara's clit with each movement.

Sara moaned, bucking into her mouth. "Ohh.."

"You like that more, huh?" Catherine said with a smirk before continuing faster.

The brunette moaned louder, bucking into Catherine's mouth.

Catherine gagged slightly, but continued, loving watching her as the toy grew slicker.

Sara watched her. "S-sorry," she moaned, going a little faster.

Catherine simply moaned in response, pressing the toy harder against her, almost grinding with each movement.

Sara's breath hitched.

Catherine took her hand gently, going faster.

Sara held her hand tightly, trying to remain upright.

Catherine felt her unsteadiness, pulling away for a moment to lay her down, straddling her knees as her head dipped, resuming her actions, faster than before.

Sara moaned louder, her hips bucking hard off the bed. "Oh...God..."

Catherine reached upwards to pinch her nipples, groaning against the toy.

Sara moaned. "Mmm, Cath...anything else?"

"What do you need?" Catherine asked, looking up at her, smirking as she straddled her hips, hovering over the toy.

The brunette moaned. "Please..."

Catherine leant down to kiss her hard as she took an inch of the toy.

Sara grabbed Catherine's hips, thrusting upwards.

Catherine gasped, moaning loudly as she began to ride the brunette.

Sara louder, sitting up against the headboard. "Mmm... so sexy!"

Catherine reached behind her, gripping the headboard as she rode faster, grinding against Sara. "Oh... Sara..."

"Oh? You like fucking me?"

"Yes! Oh... yes," Catherine cried.

Sara moaned. "Harder, sweetie! Don't hold back! Fuck me! Take everything out on me. Anger, frustration, sadness, depression. I can take it!"

Catherine rode harder with each movement, her cries growing more desperate as her pace quickened, grinding harder.

Sara's hips bucked up into her as she held her hands. "It's ok. Keep going," she groaned. "Oh fuck, C-Cath..." she moaned, cumming hard. "God, you feel amazing."

Catherine quickly began shaking when she felt Sara come, gripping her hands hard as she screamed, cumming hard, gasping for breath, her cheeks damp with tears.

Sara pulled Catherine close. "Shh. It's ok to be upsey, honey."

"I... I'm ok..." Catherine managed.

Sara shook her head. "Cath, it's really ok," she said, kissing her softly.

Catherine kissed back deeply. "No, really, I'm alright. I just... I did what you said. I let it all out, stopped bottling it up," she replied softly.

"And...do you feel any better? At all?"

Catherine nodded. "Thank you. For your patience, your sympathy, your kindness, your love," she said softly, "I never would have been able to even function without you this last month. I love you, Sara."

Sara held her tightly. "You're welcome. It hasn't been easy on either of us. The only realy real solace with what happened...is that she told you she loved you and you needed to hear that. I'm glad you did."

"She said something else when you turned away..."

"C-can I ask what she said?"

Catherine nodded. "She looked up at you and said "make sure you tell Sara you love her". I... I think she knew that s-she..."

"Oh Cath," Sara whispered. "Maybe she did. Her last wish was for you to be happy, honey."

"As long as you're here to help me, I think, someday, I'll be ok," she whispered in Sara's ear.

**THE END**


End file.
